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~a place of hope and comfort~coping with infant deathBear-ers Of Grace August 02 Our Blood Drive This blood drive is scheduled for October 19th, 2008. This is Grace's 8th Heavenly Birthday. We have it scheduled at the Hardesty Library from 1 to 5. We have seen an out pouring of donations by local companies: Here are a few who have very graciously given gifts to help support our mission 1) 2 25$ gift cards to Cheesecake
factory
2)2 15$ gift cards to Children's orchard(
gently used clothing)
3) Moody's jewelry~ red and crystal
bowl
4) 3 5$ gift cards to Panara
Bread
5) Sonic~ TONS of free food
cards
6)Profile Press(My dad's company) 2
Oklahoma posters
7) 2 huge( 78$ worth) bags of fantastic
items from Lazy Days( I LOVE this store)
8)Cokebury( christian book store) a
family of 5 angel figure
9) Freckles. 99cents cone
coupons
10) Java Dave's~ a 6 person party room 11) Great Harvest Bread~ Gift card and awesome bread!! May 28 The curve ballMay 28
it amazes me how people come into our lives and somehow they too have had such a tragic loss. The compassion they extend is evident . The compassion they seek is equally evident. I talk to women throughout my day. I see the moms at our children's school. I sit next to them on field trips and we chat about our children. Somehow it comes up..."so how many children do you have?" There was a time when I couldn't not wait for someone to ask me that question. I had to validate to me, to my children that my baby , their sister was indeed alive.
But over time I have come to realize how truly special Grace is and forever will be.
I hold her memory so incredibly dear to my heart.
I choose who to share her with.
I want her life to matter to me and others.
I couldn't not imagine her not being ours.
Someone chastized me for talking about Grace after my so called 'required' 3 months of mourning. He felt that I should 'get over it'....I wanted to say how there was absolutely nothing to get over. She is my child. Not 'was" my child but IS my child. Now and Forever.
I love being Grace's mommy. I love being Mommy to my living children and also to Brady and Hannah.
My heart goes out to new parents. My heart just breaks for what you are going through. I hate when people say, Oh, it will get better'.
Hmmm, better then what?
All I know is what is going on now. All I know is that if I have faith, I pray with all my heart that I will be accepted into Heaven.
I know that Grace changed me. I know that I am not the same person I was BG( before grace). So many parents say that.
My living children leave my home with a prayer ...a verbal prayer that God watches over them. I write H.O.P on their school papers, agendas, cards, notes....I want them to know that coming and going, you will be prayed for.
Grace did that. Well, God and Grace. January 22 God's Grace in Grief We complain about the cross we bear, but don't realize it is
preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we can't. Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine, after the rain.... Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall; But God's always ready, to answer your
call.... He knows every heartache, sees every tear, a word from His lips, can calm every fear...
Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, dawn's early light... The Savior is waiting, somewhere above, to give you His grace, and send you His love... December 11 Rain and Rainbows
November 22 caterpillers and butterflies"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world,
the Master calls the butterfly." This statement was like a haunting melody that persisted in my mind and would not let go. And during one of the lowest and darkest days of my life, the meaning of this statement came alive to me. It was like a soothing balm during this painful time. It provided me with hope, that even though it was a dark time, it could give me new life when it was over. It could be the very catalyst that could change me through this growth time. My attitude changed from "Why me Lord" to :Walk with me Lord." It is amazing what a change of attitude can do and how much lighter the load becomes whn you know that the Lord is walking with you. I believe that our loving heavenly Father does ALLOW us to walk through the dark times, so that we can grow. That we can put our life and trust in Him. And like the caterpillar, wrapping itself in a dark, solitary cocoon and not knowing what will occur, there is a level of trust knowing that it is not an ending but a new beginning. And there comes the day, when the dark cocoon is no longer needed, for from the cocoon, an amazing transformation has taken place. And the caterpillar can no longer return to where and what is was, but now is blessed and changed into something greater than what it was. And like the caterpillar, often the dark times in our lives is exactly what a loving heavenly Father is allowing to change and transform us. And more importantly, to change our focus from the problem we are encountering--to the ONE who has the solution all along. From John Venturella  Another letter from Papa JohnA GRACE FILLED BLESSING As a parent, I love being a father to my three children. However, in the role of father, there is also the primary responsibility of the financial breadwinner when raising a family. This sometimes meant having two jobs and not having all the time you wished to spend with your children. But this role, was and is still a blessing in my life. Over the years, I have been blessed as eleven grandchilren came into my life. I always thought that fatherhood was great but grandfathering is pure joy. Time with the grandkids is always pure excitement and joy. There is always something to learn, some new item, some new discovery; and beyond all of this is the bonding of these children to my heart. My daugther and son in law have five of the grandchildn, who are living in the same town as me, less than a mile away, What a gift to have the grandkids nearby. My daughter and son in law also have had a miscarriage with twins and one child named Grace who was born for only 2 days. Three other grandchildren live in California and Arizona. What a gift it is to have grandkids nearby. One of my daughter's children is with her Heavenly Grandfather- her name is Grace. She lived within her mother for eight months and was born on October 19, 2000. My daughter, son in law and her brothers and sisters wished she could have given her our breath to help her breathe, so she could continue to live. But it did not turn out that way. Her congenital diaphragmatic hernia caused her organs to move resulting in Grace's inability to breath. In her life within her mother's womb, and in her two day's of life, this small treasure called Grace brought family, friends and even strangers together in prayer. Both at pre-birth and the hours of her birth, these prayers comforted the family as Grace continued to sturggle for her life. Her small body could not sustain the struggle and she went to her Heavenly grandfather, one day after her birth on October 20, 2001 Our dream of course was to love this child through birthdays, school days, career days, marriage if she chose, etc. But it was not meant to be. Grace who had a hole in her diaphrahm left a hole in our hearts that only she can fill. And with her very short life comes the realization that she is out of pain and fully healed by the "grace" of her Creator. There is also great comfort in knowing that we will be together in some future time. For we were definitely "graced" by Grace. In loving memory of Grace Dill from her grandfather. John Venturella November 21 Coping with loss~when a loved one dies you usually don't experience that loss just once. You're likely to relive it on the anniversary of your loved one's death. Chances are, you're also reminded of your loss each time a special date comes up such as a holiday or birthday. Even special events for strangers who died( ie., 911, vets day) can trigger that familiar pain and sadness all over again.
Speaking from experience, as we have lived thru 7 birthdays for our angel Grace, the days leading up to the date can bring forth very sad feelings as well as anger over our child not being here when many people are given perfectly healthly children whom they abuse. I, as well as many of my friends who have lost a child, remember the date our daughter was diagnosed with her CDH. We remember the month her trisomy was revealed. We remember the funeral.
Some reminders are inevitable. There will alot of 1sts. The 1st holiday after your baby died. The first painful mother's day with out your child. Personally the holidays , Thanksgiving and Christmas used to be so happy for me. But they serve as a painful reminder that a child is missing from our arms. It hurts. Please contact me at dill6@cox.net if you would like to talk....
June 23 Questioning God~Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?" Praise you in this stormSAD ISN'T BAD~
Noone ever said being a Christian was going to be smooth saling. In fact, the Bible is pretty clear about how grief, death, mourning, saddness ....etc...all brings us closer to God. What the Bible does say is to pray without ceasing. Altho it seems like the absolute last thing you want to do in any period of grief is to pray...you should. God commands us to pray. As the song say, 'I'll praise you in this storm'~ your help comes from God~ always,
Just because you quetion your faith does not in any way mean that God is far from you. It could mean you are far from God. God is our Father, just as our earthly father would never stop loving us( well, a mature father), neither does God.. No matter how long you are gone, He will welcome you with open arms.
It is normal to question and doubt when you are hurting and feeling vulnerable. Life is joy AND sorrow.
What I have learned is God truly touches you thru other people. Comfort, Healing and lastly compassion is what can heal our hearts. That can bring us closer to healing in our sorrow and to also draw closer to our Heavenly Father.
God doesn't ask you to ignore your pain. God wants you to acknowledge it, face it and ride it out. Some pain, like losing a child, will never go away( as some family members wish we could just forget our child). That is just not realistic, but it does get better in time. Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia
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